We’re Just Not Built For Shopping
Just about every girl I know loves to shop. Whether it’s a new pair of shoes, a new hat, or just window shopping and oggling the latest styles that their bank balance tells them they can’t afford, most girls love nothing more than a lazy Saturday afternoon wandering through their local shopping centre.
For us guys, however, a Saturday afternoon (indeed any afternoon) spent shopping is our personal version of hell. Each hour spent shopping is an hour of our lives wasted, an hour in which we could have been doing something constructive, such as playing online pool, or rearranging our collection of Bruce Willis DVDs.
You see for me, shopping is not a leisure activity (and I believe I speak for most males here), it is a necessity. If I need a new pair of shoes I will buy a pair of shoes, but I will ensure that no unnecessary time, or energy is expended in the purchase of said footwear. There is no need to try the shoes on, I’ve been a size 9 for 10 years now. Buying a new pair of dress shoes, goes like this for me: -
1) Leave my house
2) Train to town
3) Walk to Burtons
4) Quickly scan dress shoes under £30
5) Find my favourites
6) Ask for them in a size 9
7) No, I don’t want to try them on
Yes, I am sure
9) Walk to cash desk
10) Pay for shoes
11) Walk to train station
12) Train home
I have the whole operation down to military precision and can be back in the warmth and safety of my house within 45 minutes of leaving it. The process can be cut to 11 steps, by substituting 11 and 12 with “Walk to pub”.
I’m pretty sure that we’re not built for shopping. I can run about a football pitch for 90 minutes and still be going strong at the end, but 15 minutes with my girlfriend in Primark and my legs ache, my head pounds and all I can think about is curling up in a corner and crying myself to sleep.
And to make the whole experience worse, I am always asked my opinions. Yes, I like that bag. Yes, it goes well with that hat. Just buy the thing and let’s get out of here while part of my soul is still intact. Too late, she’s decided it’s not quite the right shade of aqua marine.
So ladies, give your man a break this weekend. It’s not just him, it’s all of us. The mantle of hunter/gatherer has passed to the female, you were built to shop, we were built to drop.
David, I agree with most of what you have said.
I understand the idea that girls waste time by trying things on hence the reason I don’t. I am with you about the whole asking questions thing. It is pointless, I don’t really care what the person who is with me thinks because if I like it, I’m going to get it (although for some reason I do tend to ask). I sympathise with those men who are dragged around shops and expected to be enthusiastic the whole time. Our expectations are set too high. This Saturday I am going it alone. I need not the assistance of a man. I will, however, not let you away the comment about it being a “lazy Saturday”. Shopping is work. Hard and, at times, painful work. So there!